Paper Trail

December

On My Night Stand

• McSweeney's #24
• The Mythic Tarot-Sharman-Burke, Greene
• The Mythic Image-Joseph Campbell
• Discovering The Mind-Walter Kaufmann
• The Hero With A Thousand Faces-Joseph Campbell
• The Stars-H.A. Rey
• Metamorphoses-Ovid, trans Rolfe Humphries
• Vacation-Deb Olin Unferth
• Remainder­-Tom McCarthy
• I Am A Strange Loop-Douglas Hofstadter
• A New Earth-Eckhart Tolle
• Tarot and the Journey of the Hero-H. Banzhaf
• Everything That Rises-Lawrence Weschler
• Reading Like A Writer-Francine Prose
• Deep Economy-Bill McKibben
• The Shape of Things To Come-Greil Marcus
• Black Elk Speaks-Neihardt
• Your Code Name Is Jonah-Edward Packard
• Parzival-Eschenbach
• D'Aularies' Book of Greek Myths

Actively Reading

• The Mythic Tarot-Sharman-Burke, Greene
• A New Earth-Eckhart Tolle
• Tarot and the Journey of the Hero-H. Banzhaf
• D'Aularies' Book of Greek Myths
• Parzival-Eschenbach
• I Am A Strange Loop-Douglas Hofstadter
• Everything That Rises-Lawrence Weschler

Listening To

• The Mirror Conspiracy-Thievery Corporation
• Presence-Led Zeppelin
• The Essential Clash
• Cosmic Game-Thievery Corporation
• A Charlie Brown Christmas
• The Royal Tenenbaums
• Radio Retaliation-Thievery Corporation

Viewed:

• The Truman Show
• National Treasure
• National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
• Xanadu
• In Search of Myths & Heroes
• Hancock
• The Da Vinci Code
• Lost (Season four)
• Wholphin # 7
• Kung Fu Panda
• Wall-E
• Short Circuit
• Indian Jones and the Last Crusade
• American Outrage-(from Wholphin #5)
• It's A Wonderful Life
• The Royal Tenenbaums
• Tin Man
• The Black Hole
• I, Robot
• I Am Legend

2008: opening the hatch

I can identify with John Locke.  I want to be special.  I want to do something important.  I want to believe that I'm the hero.  But, in truth, all I do is "push the button".

This has been a pretty strange year for me and those around me.  What was the point?  I think the following image sums it up pretty well.  It was a year of backsliding caused by our perception of lack: (and with backsliding we receive separation as opposed to unity.)

I suppose that I've determined that the most important thing that I do is this.  This chronicle of my exploration has very little ego involved.  Here I seek truth not recognition.  I have no idea if anyone reads this, and at this point, don't know if I care.  (I signed up for google analytics at one point, but then felt like Big Brother and refused to "watch".)  I do this, my blog, because I feel I must, not because of the promise of some future reward.  When I started "pushing the button" I was convinced that the island would somehow reward me for my selfless work, but alas, I still stock magazines, deliver Chinese food, and will likely be fruitless in my application to the creative writing program I'm applying to next month.

I think I'm o.k. with this.  After I send in my submission, I will likely share it with you.  I have a feeling that you will "get it".  This year for me has been about the preparation for opening my heart.  That is, transcending "the gut" Chakra and moving up to the heart, to La Vita Nuova, The New Earth. 

I'm back to robots and hearts again.  I understand my fascination w/ the moon and space.  I've made peace with 2008 and think I understand "its purpose".  I'm ready to embrace the term "Synchromystic"--I've done this my whole life.  I've always read "the stars" for meaning.  So synchromystic?  Yes.  cinemalchemist?  You bet!

Call me DJ Ishmael.  I'm ready to follow Ahab into the whale.

Here is a description of "the hatch" (I know I'm loosely mixing a couple of Lost ideas together) from Joseph Campbell's The Mythic Image:

Just below this lotus of the heart there is pictured a lesser [octagonal], uninscribed lotus, at about the level of the solar plexus, supporting on a jeweled altar an image of the Wish-Fulfilling Tree.  For it is here that the first intimations are heard of the sound OM in the Silence, and that sound itself is the Wish-Fulfilling Tree.  Once heard, it can be rediscovered everywhere and no longer do we have to seek  our good.  It is here-within-and through all things, all space.  We can now give up our struggle for achievement, for love and power and the good, and may rest in peace.

Leap of Faith

I feel like we have returned to the edge.  Jumping might be the best thing for us, but first we have to let go:

Dory He says it's time to let go! Everything's gonna be all right!

Marlin How do you know!? How do you know something bad isn't gonna happen?

Dory I don't!

Of course maybe we need to encounter our shadow before we are ready?  Maybe we need a crisis to break through to our unconscious self?  We need to face the Devil?

I've been thinking about jumpers.  I think we are on the ledge again.  See Jake for more.

Dory Here comes a big one--whooooooo! Come on, you gotta try this!

Marlin Would you just stop it!?

Dory Why? What's wrong?

Marlin We're in a whale! Don't you get it!?

Dory A whale?

Marlin A whale! 'Cause you had to ask for help! And now we're stuck here!

Dory Wow. A whale. You know I speak whale.

Marlin No, you're insane! You can't speak whale! I have to get out! I have to find my son! I have to tell him how old sea turtles are!

Dory Woo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoo! Hey. You okay?There, there. It's all right. It'll be okay.

Marlin No. No, it won't.

Dory Sure it will, you'll see.

celebrate

-maenad

The Devil

strength